Thursday, December 30, 2004

Make this new year your year for love

Make this new year your year for love
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With the approaching new year, many people are preparing long–winded resolutions they have no intention of keeping. Most do so with good intentions and don't lose much sleep over it when they fail. Others beat themselves up for 11 months and start the cycle over the following January.

There's just something about a new year that represents more than simply a turnover in tax seasons; it's an opportunity to start at the beginning, to make changes you've been waiting for some milestone to implement.

Whether or not you have been wildly successful in love, you can make next year your breakout time. It doesn't matter if you plan to find the love of your life and settle down or just meet someone you can have a good time with, so long as you commit yourself to being a mover and shaker of the romantic world, you're likely to have some success.

When people don't do well in dating or love, it's usually because they try for a while and then become discouraged for some reason. They got dumped, dated a psycho, went to jail, whatever. The point is, they never lost the desire — they just stopped trying.

If you allow setbacks to dishearten you on your quest, you might as well not start in the first place. Yes, it can be painful or humiliating to brush yourself off and go meet someone else, but you're going to have to keep doing it until you meet the right one.

That's not the same as keeping at it until you "do it right." There is no right or wrong way; in fact, the worst mistake you could make is to try and become something you're not in the vague hope that it will make you more attractive. Be yourself because whatever that may be, it's going to be an asset when you meet the person who's truly right for you.

Admittedly that person may be harder to find if you're a social troglodyte, own entire seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on DVD or walk the streets doing your best impersonation of the elephant man. But the fact is, if you hide those truths, you'll only involve yourself with people who aren't right for you.

If you choose this coming year to be "The Year of You" then it will happen. Like most New Year's resolutions, the only thing that can defeat you is yourself. When you go out on the town to meet with someone special, you may find the perfect relationship on your first try — or you may need to demonstrate some resiliency, and keep trying if things don't work out the first dozen times.

Finding people who are right for each other is no easy task. Luckily services like have made it easier to compare interests, lifestyles and desires by quick search technology. Remember, though, that the your romantic success is your responsibility. Keep at it and you won't be disappointed.

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