Saturday, July 02, 2005

Celebrate Your Independence

Celebrate Your Independence

Brought to you by Laura Gilbert and Match.com!

1. You get to go wherever you want and do whatever you want on vacation. If you hate cold weather, you don't have to risk losing toes to frostbite just because your sweetie is a ski buff. And once you get wherever you're going, if you decide to stay in the hotel room all weekend with room service and an on-site masseuse while ignoring the historic blah blah blahs? No problem... Nobody's gonna know!

2. You get to sing out loud--badly, without embarrassment--to your music whenever you're home.

3. The remote control is all yours, all the time. And you don't have to worry about anyone else making fun of you because it's switched to Lifetime or hours of NASCAR coverage.

4. You can comfortably put up that Star Wars poster you've had since you were a kid or paint the bathroom walls petal-pink--after all, decorating isn't a team sport.

5. Your friends all instinctively make you their "... and guest" when they go to an event. You get prime invites to concerts (especially popular during the summer), weddings (ditto) and other ticketed events every time someone's significant other has to bail.

6. You get to indulge all of your interests, no matter how bizarre, without negotiating. That means you can hole up with piles of true-crime books or drive an hour for the fairy exhibit at a nearby museum without ever having to explain yourself.

7. You can try all five of Cold Stone Creamery's July-only flavors... twice... before noon... and not have to hide the fact that you ruined your appetite for lunch.

8. When you get to the front of the line at Blockbuster, you know with certainty that you're not going to have to pay someone else's late fees for a movie you'd never watch.

9. You never, ever have to look over your shoulder before drinking straight from the milk carton. In fact, being single means you can leave the toilet seat up, the toothpaste cap off and your dirty undies on the bathroom floor. Let your inner slob run free!

10. You get to go to parties and barbecues without worrying that the person you lugged with you is bored, annoyed, or getting embarrassingly drunk. (And you get to flirt with every hot prospect there!)

11. If a sexy, brooding plumber with a mysterious past moves in next door and captures the attention of all the local ladies, you don't have to agonize over whether or not to leave your mate to pursue your one shot at true love. If things click, you're untethered, and it's game on, toilet boy! (For guys, substitute a pair of sexy blonde cheerleader twins for the brooding plumber.)

12. Nobody ever hogs your side of the bed, steals your cover, wakes you up with freezer-toes or flops his or her sweaty night-bod on you. And every single night, you nod off knowing that you're in the company of someone who really loves you.

Single girl Laura Gilbert is a freelance writer in New York City. Her recycling often consists of nothing but Domino's boxes and Gatorade bottles, and she's proud of it.


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