Surviving the holidays together

Surviving the holidays together

Randy B. Hecht and brought to you by Match.com!

All through the holiday season last year, you felt a twinge every time you saw a couple out together. "Where's my kiss under the mistletoe?" you thought. "Where's my date for New Year's Eve? Where's the one I get to snuggle with on all these cold and snowy nights?”

It was lonely being single during the holidays. But this year you did meet someone, and now you're looking forward to spending your first holiday season together.

You think you had stress before? Brace yourself for the big time!

Being in a relationship doesn’t automatically reduce the pressures of the season. Just as often — maybe more often — it increases them. How you approach the month of December can spell the difference between a season of peace and a season of falling to pieces.

To make your first holidays together truly worth celebrating, remember these tips:

Manage your expectations. It's not your sweetheart's job to make up for all the years when you didn't have a honey for the holidays. Nor for that really bad year when your ex turned out to be an absolute Grinch. Expecting the person you're dating to recreate the holiday season of your fantasies is unreasonable.

Good things come in no package, too. Speaking of gifts, don't put too much emphasis on them as a measure of just how merry your season has been. The pressure to find absolutely the most perfect presents for one another can take all the joy out of the occasion and create a stress — emotional and financial — unlike any other. And extravagance isn't the key to a happy holiday. Enjoying time with each other will do the trick.

Give each other some space. The holidays can be overwhelming, and eventually everyone needs a time out from the endless festivities. Allow each other time to relax, reflect, and recharge solo.

Share your traditions...Your favorite holiday decoration or recipe was passed down to you from your grandmother. Tell your sweetheart about it and her, the memories it brings back every December, and some of your favorite stories from holidays past. And ask to hear your sweetheart's stories and family traditions, too.

...And make some new ones, too. It can be as simple as agreeing that each of you will buy, or better yet, make a special ornament for the other to mark the year. Or that every year you're going to experiment with baking one new type of cookie. Or even that you're going to organize your friends for what you hope will be an annual night of caroling. The details don't matter — except to the extent that they will help put your own stamp on the holiday season for you as a couple.

Above all else, enjoy yourself and each other. Remember, you already have the gift that you swore just last year was the only thing you really wanted!