5 ways to tell if she's the one

5 ways to tell if she's the one

Tom Milnes, Match.com

So, you've been dating a perfectly lovely woman for a while and seeing as you are more or less attached at the hip, it is safe to say that things may be getting serious. But with all those other fish in the sea, how do you know if she is really the one for you?
With all new relationships holding the possibility of everything from mere infatuation to lasting love, it can sometimes be hard to tell the real thing from your latest fling, unless you are willing to ask the tough questions. Thankfully, that list is mercifully short.

1. Is there honest communication between you?
Understandably, in the heat of the moment a question as serious as this is usually not a top priority but if you are playing for the long-term you had better make time for it sooner rather than later. As intoxicating as a new romance can be, eventually pet peeves and irritations, will punch a hole into your private world. And if you are not prepared to deal with it the honeymoon may be over before it begins.

2. Where is the passion?
Although not all love connections run as hot as others, passion — either anticipated or actual — is an eventual necessity for any healthy, happy relationship. When you take her hand and look into her eyes what do you see and what do you feel? Whether you have chosen to jump right in or take it slow, ensure that as your life together grows the passion does not get left out, otherwise what is the point.

3. Are you compatible for the long haul?
The beginnings of relationships tend to be filled with typical days of wine and roses but what happens when the unchangeable realities surrounding your mate make themselves known. It could be her friends. It could be her family. It could be her interests or job. Identifying them early can provide the head start you need to reconcile yourself to them or provide the final reason to move on to greener pastures.

4. Do you both have lives outside your relationship?
As relationships progress, both women and men tend to identify themselves just as much as half of a couple as distinct individuals. Is she strong enough to avoid the insecurities that can be the result of the ensuing battle between losing herself in your relationship and retaining an individual identity? And what about you? If she needs you will you be there to hold her hand and to have yours held in turn when you take up the same struggle? If you answered no to either of these you may have a problem.

5. Is money an issue?
Nothing loosens a man's purse strings like a new romance but as much as you might like treating your new gal at every turn, if you make it your responsibility it may come back to haunt you. Disagreements over money are a prime source of arguments among couples, so do yourself a favor from the beginning and let her pick up the check if she wants to. If she doesn't offer, ask her to pitch in. The result may be an eye-opening snapshot of what your financial future with her may hold.